My mother was a gifted seamstress. All my clothes were made my by mom, all our sweaters were knitted by my mom. I never inherited her dressmaking prowess, but I learned to knit and crochet as a child and never stopped. My love affair with needles and thread or yarn endures and I still knit, crochet, embroider and sew regularly. I have sewn trousers where the one leg was wider than the other. While I was able to fix it, its all that needs to be said about my skill, or lack thereof, when it comes to making clothes.
My sewing is mostly quilting, often with slight misaligned corners; they’re never quite as sharp as they’re meant to be. There is usually some problem solving required because there appears to be a pattern of screwing something up – either the seams aren’t even or I cut something wrong. The fuck-up fairy is a frequent visitor when I’m at my sewing machine. Fortunately for me, the joy is in the process, even with the fixes. The imperfect end result does nothing to reduce my delight in the time spent at the machine.
When I was planning my trip to Switzerland this summer, I thought it would be fun to stop along my bike rides to capture some of what I was seeing in a sketchbook, until I remembered that I can’t draw. But then I pushed back at that thought and decided that I can draw, I’m just not very good at it. Ok wait, I’m actually terrible. So what? I’ll learn. Oh the excitement of saying, “I can learn”.
I found a little mini course on Domestika and then found a couple of books on techniques of sketching. I have another book on perspectives to read, but then I received a notification from the library that it was my turn in line for Ann Patchett’s Whistler. Its lovely, you should read it if you get a chance, but I digress. The point being that the art books were put on a hold for a bit. In the meantime, I’ve been doing another online course which is mostly drills to help you draw better. It’s been fun and I see how it’s helping me draw better.
I’m still absolutely rubbish at drawing, but I love the practise. I love looking at how the shadows fall and where to shade create dimension. The theory is the first lesson, the skill will follow if I keep practising. Maybe. Now I look at something and think about perspective and where the vanishing point would be and then I move to another spot and seeing how that changes what I’m looking at. It’s all new and very exciting for my brain.
The results are rudimentary at best, but I’m ok to keep going as long as its fun to do. And what better reason is there to do anything than because it’s fun. There is great freedom in not being attached to the end result and being content to simply enjoy the process along with the experience of learning something new.
When I was actually riding my bike in Switzerland, I carried my sketchbook only on the first day. Whenever I thought about stopping, I felt like I still had too many miles ahead of me to dawdle, so kept turning the pedals. The churches and fountains along the route would have been fun to draw, but the never-ending mountains covered with trees were far too daunting to even attempt.
This morning I walked on a sunny path to a park by the ocean. I faced one way and practised drawing water (it’s hard!) and then sketched a beautiful art installation and then I turned and tried to draw the Chief. Rock covered by trees is also hard, but I’m ok to just keep trying. Grateful for sunny October days spent outside.
Where does your joy come from? The process or the end result.