Most of the time, when I travel, it’s solo travel. I have no one in my life who’d want to go to South Africa to escape winter and ride bikes for an extended period of time. Ok wait – a few people might want to, but no one who’s ready to make it happen. When contemplating this trip, I did say to one friend that always traveling alone was getting a bit tiresome. She brilliantly pointed out that I could be alone in wet, miserable, grey Squamish, or alone in the sun and the heat of South Africa. I booked my flight the next day.

I know a few people here casually, but its not like I’ve come to visit friends or family. I’ve been staying in guesthouses and hotels and now in an airbnb for the rest of my time here in South Africa. I’ve done 3 rides with friends and had dinner once with friends and lunch once with a cousin. Oh and yesterday I had an accidental encounter with a friend at a coffee shop that was so lovely, but mostly I’m flying solo.

Wherever I arrive, they’re always a bit surprised that it’s just me. And full disclosure, my confidence does falter when my response is always, “No, it’s just me, I’m traveling alone”. At the bike hotel everyone would head out for rides with their friends, and I’d head off solo. That may sound lame, but it is what works best for me. I’m always the slow one, so if I ride alone, I can just ride and not have to fret about making them wait 100 times. I don’t have to negotiate a route or stick to a plan. I only have to think “Ooh what’s down this way” and the detour happens with zero negotiation. If my planned 2-hour ride turns into 3 or gets shortened, its all up to me. I love that freedom and independence.

The ladies working at the bike hotel were so lovely and very curious about me: an older woman who looks more like them than any of the other guests, who sort of sounds the same but with fumbling Afrikaans, and had come all the way from Canada. When I’d tell them that I have no husband or partner so I can do whatever I want, they’d always tell me how lucky I am. In the next breath they’d say how brave I was to come so far alone. When something is your normal, you don’t often realise how it might seem like a really brave thing to someone who has not yet had the opportunity to do that.

I think it is easier to be brave when you are shown kindness at every turn. At the guesthouse where I stayed, I was invited to ride with the local women’s group. At the bike hotel, Pieter the owner would ask where I was riding each morning and always checked in that I’d returned safely. At two different places I’ve stayed, the hostesses kindly stocked the fridge when they heard I was traveling alone and without a car. It is an easy walk to the grocery store for me here in Stellenbosch, and still I’ll come home to a plate of food, or a bag of fruit left for me. I am grateful for all of it.

The other thing about solo travel is an awareness of how few conversations I have here. There are many hellos along the trail, and sometimes a few more sentences exchanged at the trailhead as we catch our breath. Its niceties between strangers, before we go our separate ways. I have a friend who’s bike packing in New Zealand and he’s made 100 friends. At least! Perhaps the lifestyle of bike packers traveling in the same direction is more conducive to new friendships and company. The people I meet here are all living their daily life and not on an exotic adventure thousands of miles from home. I wonder if that mindset is a factor in making friends.

I go to restaurants alone all the time. I’ll say a table for one, but often the next server will bring two sets of cutlery. It is amusing for me to look around the restaurant and at most tables, both people are glued to their phones. I love sitting on a patio watching the world go by. There is no awkwardness in that for me, even as I see other patrons taking a second look at the only person in the restaurant sitting alone.

Would I enjoy company on a trip like this? Yes, but … it has to be the right company. I don’t want to have my days dictated by someone else’s agenda. It would be nice to have someone to ride with but I also don’t expect someone else to plod along at my pace when the riding here is so great. And I don’t want to be around someone who’s annoyed because I have to work at 6pm when it’s 8am in Vancouver. So in reality, I don’t know how I could do this with a travel companion.

I think my real life at home is similarly solitary, so this doesn’t really feel that different. I suppose that most people with partners, families and large friends groups don’t do things alone. Perhaps it appears lame to some that I always have to travel alone, but I will always choose going alone over not going at all. Always! And when I get there, wherever I choose to go, I get to do what I want, when I want. I ride where and when I want, I eat on my own schedule and decide my own sleep schedule. That’s kinda’ perfect in so many ways.